I feel like I'm abusing/grooming my son. . .

antiwork-ModTeam · 2023-09-01T11:48:08+00:00

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Repulsive_Raise6728 · 2023-08-31T23:00:57+00:00

Former teacher here and 2 hours for a first grader is insane. The recommendations I always saw were 10 minutes per grade. So, for your kid, like 10 minutes of reading or writing or some easy math facts.

I would investigate if this is a school-wide thing, or a teacher thing. If it’s a school-wide thing, it’s likely that your son’s teacher knows how insane this is and can’t do anything about it because admin has decided that’s what’s going to make their school look good. Please don’t harass your child’s teacher if it’s school-wide. Go straight to the AHs that are implementing this policy.

dana-cole · 2023-08-31T21:01:10+00:00

As a first grader, he has one main teacher, right? Email the teacher and ASK how long they would like you to spend on each evening's assignments. What they think is REASONABLE.

I'd be willing to bet it's WELL under 2 hours.

So review the assignments, prioritize ones that focus on stuff your kid needs the most help with, do those until you hit the time limit (probably <20 minutes, I'd be willing to bet), and then ... stop.

Just let the rest of it GO.

And go play! :D

(PS - I teach high school, for what that's worth.)

_nousernamesleft_ · 2023-08-31T23:05:16+00:00

I can almost guarantee the teacher is not expecting a first grader to spend 2 hours on homework. If you haven't already, talk to the teacher and/or your sons pediatrician. While it is possible the teacher is out of touch, it is also possible that most students are spending significantly less time on homework and there is a reason why your son is taking longer. If this is the case, it would be helpful to determine that reason now and start taking steps to address it.

If there is no other factor impacting the length of time it takes for your son to complete his homework and the teacher really is just assigning too much there is nothing wrong with setting a timer at home and only doing some of it. I'm a high school teacher myself and when I assign hw I always give my students an idea of how long it should take and at what point they should move on with their life (ex: "This assignment should take you 20 minutes. If you spend a little longer than that no big deal but if you're still working at the 40 minute mark just stop and we'll go over it together next class.")

Hedgehog_Capable · 2023-08-31T20:01:25+00:00

I'd recommend setting a hard limit on the amount of homework time. 30 minutes tops. Let the teacher know.

We know from studies that nearly all homework just isn't beneficial at that age. It can't be ignored later on, beneficial or not, but there's just no reason for it now. Breathe easier. You can still give him time for play.

raithzero · 2023-08-31T20:51:01+00:00

As far as the reading goes. My wife and I found it easier to incorporate into bedtime routine. Just start that 15 minutes earlier and read to them or have them read to you before lights out.
The rest is ridiculous.

No_Whereas_3380 · 2023-08-31T19:24:21+00:00

This is absolutely vomit inducing.

Let me be clear, I am in no way calling out OP. I am calling out the bullshit system that we are all a slave to. Look at how young they are breaking down the spirit these days in an effort to train humans to be slaves of the corporate overlords.

Makes me sick.

OP I feel for you, and I am sorry for your situation.

AlternativeLook6531 · 2023-08-31T19:47:45+00:00

As a teacher, I wish I didn’t have to give homework. In my opinion, homework should just be what wasn’t finished at school but nothing more. However, in my experience parents get upset if I don’t give homework and some districts require it. I tell my parents the “homework” I send home is just meant as extra practice and not to stress it.

PrincessPeach1229 · 2023-08-31T20:40:17+00:00

I remember when kindergarten was half day’s. Why? Bc the attention span of a 5-6 year old is SHORT. And we mostly played all day, never had homework.

Sometime in the 90’s it switched to full day…not because kids needed it but bc parents could no longer afford to live on a single income and nobody was home to watch these kids half the day.

Visible_Number · 2023-08-31T19:14:30+00:00

home work for 6 year olds?!

Shooppow · 2023-08-31T19:11:39+00:00

Homework doesn’t exist in my house, now. At one point, my special-needs son had so much homework each week that it was physically impossible for him to complete it. I decided years ago to put an end to that. His school life stays at school and his home life stays at home, and the two never cross. He’s a much happier person, now, and I don’t feel like stopping homework has harmed him at all.

Just flat out tell his teacher to cut the shit and that you’re not allowing homework at home. If school worked properly, children wouldn’t need to do homework.

Hello_Gorgeous1985 · 2023-08-31T20:11:01+00:00

I don't consider reading to be homework, so if it's just reading I suggest you reframe it. Reading to him and with him Is good for his development across multiple fronts and it's good for your relationship. I'm a music teacher and I've worked in child care in different capacities over the years and I can always tell which kids parents read with them at home and which ones don't. They have better attention, span, better imagination, better vocabulary and so much more.

Just read to him every night. Have him follow along with the words on the page as you read, and gradually increase how much he reads to you. It could start with a single sentence.

Simply don't make it last 2 hours.

nickrocs6 · 2023-08-31T21:38:46+00:00

My mom was talking about her friends kids having adhd and I said honestly I don’t think kids should be spending 8 hours a day sitting in class rooms. I even feel like I have adhd sometimes but I think it’s more the fact that no one should be sitting and working for 8 hours a day. This is not what humans were meant to do. She kind of just agreed, which was refreshing. I feel like since we’ve both gotten older she agrees with a lot of things that I say, I think before she was just surrounded by people who wouldn’t say anything against the norm.”

DannyPantsgasm · 2023-09-01T04:39:00+00:00

One day when i was 5, i was messing around in the yard. Unexpectedly my parents both called out to me and told me it was time for my first day at school. It was so out of left field. They hadn’t warned me at all in the days leading up, just barged over to me, interrupted my fun, and told me i was going. I hated it. Every second of it. For 12 years. Then after that it was time to start working.

I don’t even remember what I was doing that day, just that i was enjoying myself. And since that moment all I have wanted is to get back to whatever it was.

bopperbopper · 2023-08-31T20:43:46+00:00

1) keep reading to him.

2) take him to the library. Let him check out whatever he wants.

3) Work on homework, but like others say no more than 30 minutes

4) Talk to the teacher about how long the homework should take

5) We do have to practice things to get better at it and maybe he needs to practice his math or writing

CJMande · 2023-08-31T20:43:08+00:00

Our school has a "10 minutes per grade" maximum homework. So K has 0 homework, 1st grade 10 minutes, 2 has 20 minutes, etc.

If the kid can't finish in that time frame, we sign the page saying they hit their time limit.

It's honestly a major factor in why we chose this district. My 6th grader rarely has more than 10 minutes, and my 10th grader is an hour or less a day. My second grader just has studying of vocabulary or spelling words.

Kids need time to relax and time to play. And knowledge that they have authority in their lives to separate school time and home time.

PaleInSanora · 2023-08-31T20:36:07+00:00

You may want to rephrase that statement to abusing/conditioning your son. Grooming these days has a sexual aspect to it, that you are clearly not trying to imply or infer in what you and your son are going through.

TheLostonline · 2023-08-31T20:51:30+00:00

No 6 year old should be bringing homework home after school.

FFS this world sucks.

East_Kaleidoscope995 · 2023-08-31T20:44:44+00:00

Reading with your child isn’t homework, it’s parenting.

Laughtillicri · 2023-08-31T20:54:57+00:00

Am I the only one that doesn't see the point of homework?

Imagine if you got home from your job and you had to do more of your work.

Sounds like bullshit, doesn't it?

stump1010 · 2023-08-31T19:10:12+00:00

This is the way the system is designed unfortunately. Uncle sam and his donors want to grow obedient non thinkers to keep the greed train rolling. Those too tired to think are the ones too tired to fight back. I feel for your son, and what awaits him in the future. Same way i feel about my nieces and nephews. Perhaps homeschooling may be a better option?

lazyfucker67 · 2023-08-31T19:08:08+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, my 2 will never be subjected to it because it is I'm fact too much for them. Finish work they didn't do at school yes but extra work in top of that? No way.

nikkinonsens3 · 2023-08-31T20:40:16+00:00

My daughter is also six in 1st grade and hasn’t had any homework. Just sent home workbooks they hadn’t gone through each month and suggested to do some on the unused pages of wanted. She reads perfectly and is average when she was tested for her reading and writing. Wtf is this system. I feel sorry for the other kids who are forced to do that bullshit.

PerformanceRadiant · 2023-08-31T20:45:26+00:00

Reading is definitely a must and should be done every week day. You’d be surprised how many kids in my fourth/fifth grade class couldn’t pronounce simple words because their parents never made them read their homework booklets. But other than that, at six it’s not a big deal. To make it more fun, implement a reward system. For every correct answer he gets a star, when he gets ten stars he gets a piece of candy or something small. Or you could buy decorated flashcards to make it interesting so he’s not staring at a white paper with black ink. There are a lot of ways to make learning fun it’s just hard to find what specifically works for your kid Edit: Also, can you outline what homework he has that would take an adult thirty minutes? When I was six I had a little booklet to read every day at home and like 5 math problems and had to sing my parents the ABCs. I went to a top tier public school too so it wasn’t like I was in a place that didn’t care.

2023-08-31T22:48:41+00:00

Okay, can we not use the term "grooming" in this context please? For fucks sake

PurpleDancer · 2023-08-31T20:55:29+00:00

6-year-olds should not be doing homework or not more than just a few minutes.

Scicerl63 · 2023-09-01T04:30:33+00:00

Do not make him do the homework. It’s ridiculous. Our son struggled with being able to get homework done all through elementary and middle school. So many arguments and so much stress! So little time to play and get exercise! We finally pulled him out in 9th grade and put him in an art school. He spent most his time there learning how to put on plays and act. Lots of work but no homework. He really grew in to himself there. School went bust so went to public school for senior year again and he did great. He didn’t have enough credits to graduate but he got his GED. Got in to a state university and graduated with a BS in chemistry. Is now at a prestigious university getting his PHD in chemistry. He was awarded a fellowship because he has done so well. Let your kid find his way. Do not waste time with homework at that age.

awkwardmamasloth · 2023-09-01T04:53:59+00:00

Some parents boycott homework in elementary school altogether. What are they gonna do? Just tell them you're working on the material in your own way.

My sons 1st grade teacher said not to force it. 20 min is plenty whether it's complete or not. Anything beyond that isn't beneficial. If he's frustrated and distracted, nothing is going to absorb anyway.

She actually suggested that we take turns doing his math problems. She was basically saying that me demonstrating how I'm working out a math problem is just as good as him doing it.

•Get some bath crayons and work on the math problems or spelling words on the shower wall. Write spelling words on the wall but leave out a few letters and play dumb. "This doesn't look right. Help me figure out what letters are missing." Or dictate to him the words and have him write it on the wall.

•I have my son give ME a spelling test at the bus stop with this weeks word list. He'll tell me the word, I'll spell it aloud as he spells along to make sure I'm right. He loves correcting me when I'm "wrong."

•We use bananagrams to spell out words too. Let him "cheat" and just straight up copy the words from the list with the tiles.

•Try collaborative storytelling or make up silly sentences with the words. Write out your sentence, and when you get to the spelling word, have him spell it out for you or have him write the word for handwriting practice.

My son is an excellent reader. There was a set number of words he was supposed to be able to read by the end of the year, and he was nearly 100% proficient halfway through the year. Yes, some of that is inherent, but making it an unpleasant chore doesn't inspire progress or learning.

•For handwriting practice, a fun game we'd play is this: you with a pencil make a random doodle shape, like squiggles and numbers/letters with bits of them missing. He'll trace over top of it with a crayon or marker. Maybe add a challenge and have him guess what letter/number it is and fill in the missing bits.

Bedtime reading counts, too, btw. There's literally no point in agonizing over these fucking TPS reports..er I mean homework in elementary school.

pellebeez · 2023-09-01T05:19:15+00:00

In most developed countries students don’t receive homework until year 8-12. Kids from 1st -6th should be playing after school. That’s how kids learn best.

SilverwareStealer · 2023-08-31T22:39:27+00:00

Maybe a different title, wtf.

2023-08-31T20:51:54+00:00

No counter opinion from me, it sounds like child abuse. Act on you regret somehow, for sure, it's systemic, it's an abuse culture, you are light years beyond the folks who have internalized capitalism to the stage of glorifying this shit (which is a rampant attitude still despite all the evidence, hustle and grind is real but that is different than good or meaningful).

logri · 2023-08-31T21:03:03+00:00

A 6yo should not have any homework. NO ONE should have two fucking hours of homework, at any level of school or work at all. Homework is, was, and always will be bullshit.

Stonk0Bonk0 · 2023-08-31T23:09:57+00:00

Do you write headlines for Buzzfeed?

makerblue · 2023-08-31T19:55:13+00:00

I don't make my 2nd grader do homework. My other kids are older but i didn't make them do it in the younger grades. I offer homework time, we do reading time at bedtime but i do not force homework/worksheets in the younger grades. If my youngest is having a bad day, is tired, cranky or just not having it, i don't push. I'm upfront with their teachers as well about it. I will not spend what little time i have at the end of day trying to get a 7 year old to do homework when I'm trying to do dinner and bathes and everything else.

With my older kids this worked out fine, they do their homework/projects without a problem in the older grades. None of them ever fell behind.

I just think it's too much for them when they are that young.

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